While reviewing some complaints about a Leo function recently, I noticed that when people criticize, many would start shooting first, never finding out the facts. Sometimes such unjust criticism can be very hurtful. And sometimes the criticism is intentionally and deliberately malicious and spiteful to discredit the target.
Often, the person being shot at is not the person to blame for the criticizer's unhappiness. Sometimes it is due to reasons beyond the control of the poor chap or out of his/her ability to resolve. In any case, the criticizer should take time and effort to first find out the reason behind the cause of his/her dissatisfaction. Then inform the right person quietly and offer possible solution(s) so that he/she can learn from the mistake. If it is beyond the ability of anyone to resolve the issue, just make the issue known (without mentioning names) so readers may offer solutions or future organizers may take note not to let it happen again. The 4 Ps again: praise in public, punish in private. Just came to my mind: that's why I started this blog - my writings are based on actual experiences - so those who made genuine mistakes may learn without being embarrassed in public!
On the other hand, there are those who criticize because they don't like the other person. Anything the person says or does is good enough reason to receive a negative response. Without going into the reason(s) behind the disagreements (often, it is a two-way traffic), this form of criticism gets worse when different camps supporting one or the other emerges. Then it leads to open warfare and good members (often those who remained neutral) are lost. Or it remains behind-the-scene and becomes a guerrilla battle, secretly shooting at each other whenever opportunity arises. Again, good members, caught in the crossfire, are lost.
The worse kind of critics are those who smile in your face and stabs you in the back.... wait, the new version is to smile in your face and get someone else stab you in your back... or the latest version: smile in your face, get someone else stab you in your back, while enjoying an affair with your good friend behind your back! Such 3-headed snakes seem to be getting popular... must have been influenced by similar happenings in politics!
Anyway, it is often quoted from our Lions Code of Ethics (wonder how many Lions really read, must less practice this!): To be careful with my criticism and liberal with my praise, to build up and not destroy. I would like to add that we should criticize (fairly and positively) when something wrong happens, not keep in the heart and condemn from afar. However, we must not only be careful with our criticism, we should also offer solutions.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
SELF IMPORTANCE
There are many Lions who feel lost outside the Lions circle. This is because they have built up a level of importance within the circle. Unfortunately, this importance is often 'perceived' and is 'self-centered.'
Unless the Lion is also well-known outside the Lions movement, a community leader and is at the top of many other organizations, he/she may find himself/herself a nobody when attending another organization's or a non-Lion function. So what if he/she is a Region Chairperson (a pretty high rank among Lions) or a Zone Chairperson (wah, a 'supervisor' of 3-4 clubs!). The general public knows nuts about the Lions hierarchy and cares even less about the Lion leader, especially if the Lion does not conduct himself/herself well. Then the Lion feels offended that he/she is not recognized appropriately. However, since it is not a Lions function, Lions protocol does not apply. A Lion who is a Dato' holds higher status than a non-Dato' Lion even if the non-Dato' Lion is a Cabinet Officer and the titled Lion is not. Even a District Governor, when attending a non-Lions affair, could find himself/herself placed quite low in the order of precedence. There was the case of a District Officer (the government servant, not a Lions Cabinet Officer) who told the organizer off for placing the Lions DG above him in recognition and seating during a government function, and he is right! And there are also Lions clubs that try to please both by mixing the government and Lions protocol! Everyone wants to be important so explain to the non-Lions that Lions protocol must apply during a Lions function but be gracious to accept even non-recognition when attending others. We can be important in the Lions community but we cannot insist on our importance when attending another organization's function. Don't let our self importance put us in a bad light to others.
A person who is truly important will receive respect and recognition. If he/she is a Lion, I am sure he/she adds value and prestige to our organization. The Lions of yesteryears were renowned community leaders and properly vetted before being invited into the club, a great honor for both club and person. Today, there are many 'Lions' who join the Lions movement because of the advantages or recognition he/she will get by becoming a Lion! As such, they do not add but take away such value and prestige.
I have come across such persons who were rejected by other organizations becoming Lions. Probably the club was desperate for membership growth or did not vet the candidate properly. In the end, the 'Lion' hangs on to his/her club membership by paying dues on time (but usually not attending a single meeting), and the club and our organization suffers when the person continues misusing Lionism for personal gains or to feel self important.
And there are those who, having gained importance through the Lions club, uses the position to gain recognition from other organizations. Organizations that value their membership or those associated with them would certainly deny the 'Lion' of such privileges, a sign that importance in the Lions movement today is meaningless to those outside.
Unless the Lion is also well-known outside the Lions movement, a community leader and is at the top of many other organizations, he/she may find himself/herself a nobody when attending another organization's or a non-Lion function. So what if he/she is a Region Chairperson (a pretty high rank among Lions) or a Zone Chairperson (wah, a 'supervisor' of 3-4 clubs!). The general public knows nuts about the Lions hierarchy and cares even less about the Lion leader, especially if the Lion does not conduct himself/herself well. Then the Lion feels offended that he/she is not recognized appropriately. However, since it is not a Lions function, Lions protocol does not apply. A Lion who is a Dato' holds higher status than a non-Dato' Lion even if the non-Dato' Lion is a Cabinet Officer and the titled Lion is not. Even a District Governor, when attending a non-Lions affair, could find himself/herself placed quite low in the order of precedence. There was the case of a District Officer (the government servant, not a Lions Cabinet Officer) who told the organizer off for placing the Lions DG above him in recognition and seating during a government function, and he is right! And there are also Lions clubs that try to please both by mixing the government and Lions protocol! Everyone wants to be important so explain to the non-Lions that Lions protocol must apply during a Lions function but be gracious to accept even non-recognition when attending others. We can be important in the Lions community but we cannot insist on our importance when attending another organization's function. Don't let our self importance put us in a bad light to others.
A person who is truly important will receive respect and recognition. If he/she is a Lion, I am sure he/she adds value and prestige to our organization. The Lions of yesteryears were renowned community leaders and properly vetted before being invited into the club, a great honor for both club and person. Today, there are many 'Lions' who join the Lions movement because of the advantages or recognition he/she will get by becoming a Lion! As such, they do not add but take away such value and prestige.
I have come across such persons who were rejected by other organizations becoming Lions. Probably the club was desperate for membership growth or did not vet the candidate properly. In the end, the 'Lion' hangs on to his/her club membership by paying dues on time (but usually not attending a single meeting), and the club and our organization suffers when the person continues misusing Lionism for personal gains or to feel self important.
And there are those who, having gained importance through the Lions club, uses the position to gain recognition from other organizations. Organizations that value their membership or those associated with them would certainly deny the 'Lion' of such privileges, a sign that importance in the Lions movement today is meaningless to those outside.
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